I regret being a mom. I love my child completely, whole heartedly.
A life of no regrets is a life without valuable lessons learned. Yes, she had a choice to stay at home. But with kids, that's hard. 7 minute read. Nadav Jan 20, 2017 · When you regret being a mom - even a little Shielded by online anonymity, more and more women confess they regret having kids. Oct 22, 2012 · I love being a SAHM. I hear it all the time from other parents and even my own mother, that they would do it all over again. Mourning an eight-year relationship. Elections. I have a 2 and 4 year old. "I love being a single mom and wish it was a first choice and not a last resort—that's Jul 27, 2017 · Orna Donath, an Israeli sociologist, anthropologist and author of Making a Choice: Being Childfree in Israel, has come out with a new study titled Regretting Motherhood. He keeps telling me I am “not 16 anymore” and “I’m a mom now” to keep me from fun things. I really dunnu if this feeling is going to ever end and when will I be normal again. I couldn’t leave them with the dad anymore. , people have given birth against their will. As hard as it is, I don’t regret it. She is the most precious thing in my life. And she regrets it. Those moms are aliens. Video. You are going to regret this. Jul 21, 2021 · I don’t think I’m the good father/mother that I used to be to my child(ren)), Feelings of being fed up (5 items, e. Not since I was a little girl and I still don’t. I was diagnosed with PPD right after he was born but I think this is beyond that. So no, I don't regret being a step-parent because I don't consider myself to be a step-parent. I genuinely mean it when I say she is wonderful and I love her. Fathers can do their job/neglect the child 90 per cent of the day but when a mother does the same thing, they are viewed in a more harsh light. Sep 2, 2018 · The reality is there is no such thing as a perfect parent, yet the pressures on being a mother (not a father) are endless. Is it normal to regret being a mom? Yes, it is normal to regret being a mom. And when things are important to us or carry pressure, it comes with fear, doubt, and, sometimes, regret. But for us, it's working well. She feels like she let down those before her. We judge ourselves too harshly and have this misconception that there really are mom's out there who have it all. Always. It is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Posted 01-19-10. I feel like we go Feb 12, 2015 · Readers of my articles and blog have flooded me with stories of their regret at being stay-at-home moms. Oct 21, 2022 · Sameena M. Oct 22, 2014 · But, I don’t for a minute regret being a young mom. We struggled to get pregnant with my first (3) and I was terrified I would never be a… Motherhood can be really very depressing, plus fleeting moments of clarity and gratefulness and humor and joy, but damn, the depressing stuff can really catch up to us. So, let’s go ahead and address some common questions and concerns people usually have about those who are young moms or who are thinking about becoming a young mom themselves. Jul 1, 2024 · It would be far too strong a word to say I have regrets. At 15, I didn't understand life’s complexities yet. I don’t know any parent who regrets time spent with their kids, especially kids who have moved on to their own lives. It's almost not allowed, I think. Regret is a tool our brain uses to send a message that we must analyze our choices and avoid unpleasant or destructive outcomes. I do what I’m supposed to do for my child(ren), but nothing more). She was extremely indifferent to having children, and basically gave up on any parenting once we were teenagers. ” Being a mom is hard. I’m also a single mom so I don’t have help outside of my parents. Jul 18, 2018 · Many parents who are facing problems raising their children feel that it’s not possible to talk about regretting being parents. Mar 27, 2020 · No one wants regrets, but if you think about it, regret has a function for survival. I completely empathize with you. Realizing I had no idea who I was outside of my roles as a mother and partner. And you know… I kinda love my world as it is. ” Or Susie, a mother of two children now in their 30s, and a grandmother of three, who told me, “I don’t think I’m suited to being a mother. I’m on 3 meds and see a psychiatrist monthly for the last two years. As in, from It’s hard being a mom, because we have created a culture that defines, celebrates, and reinforces that it’s hard to be a mom. Nov 7, 2023 · Sometimes, it feels like an endless cycle of sleepless nights, tantrums, and never-ending laundry. I provide a roof over their head alongside their mother and food but that's it. Paper illustration: Kathy De Castro Apr 7, 2017 · They may be tired of being a stay at home mom. ” I hate to admit it, but I often… like multiple times a week don't feel like “moming. Although I am fully aware that being a stay-at-home parent was certainly a luxury, staring at an empty nest and very diminished prospects of employment, I have real remorse. I know I’d be a much better parent if I was working. Jul 9, 2020 · I arrived at motherhood later in life at age 38. Mar 16, 2017 · I just finished reading Lisa Heffernan’s article entitled, Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom, in which she discusses her misgivings about her twenty years as a stay at home mom. 4. I don’t regret having children, I regret not realizing that choosing to forgo it was an option. I like having a lot of time to myself. Making mistakes as a mom is inevitable, just truly inevitable. But like that kind of grief, with time, it's no longer constant or active. Effects of Hating Being a Mom Resentment. Being a mom is hard. God, I feel you all. i dont regret a day i've spent at home or how i've learned how to manage the Aug 24, 2022 · It’s considered taboo to admit you don’t like being a mom, and parents, especially moms, are wracked with mom guilt for even thinking they don’t like being a mom. I really couldn't see me being a good mom in my twenties as I was far too selfish. Some moms regret motherhood a whole lot more than others. I would say most days I regret being a mom. You may have made the wrong decision, but the genie is not going back into the bottle. You're honest. Zahoor, MD, is a practicing family medicine specialist at Village Medical. I hate the scheduling, the feeding, the constant needs, discipline, school, friendships, sleep etc. Here's more parental regret stories for y'all. A child needs their mother, yes, but they need a mother who is emotionally and mentally stable. But now, as an adult, I see what I missed out on. Nov 8, 2023 · There are many reasons why you might feel detached from your mother, and it is normal to feel like you don't like your mom. I always suspect moms who say they have never had a moment of regret. Nov 1, 2019 · I hired my own lawyer being that I was left with no other option. I love my child completely, whole heartedly. It’s a culture of negative soil that cultivates a victim mentality. Nov 30, 2023 · Feeling detached or disconnected from one's baby, not feeling love for them, or feeling like a bad mom are also common symptoms of PPD, and may lead to regrets of having children. I initiated it. I love my kids but I do not like being a mom. You might regret the decision to become a stay-at-home mom for these reasons: Struggling to return to work Being a mom is exhausting and draining and hard work. I scoffed at this—and even now, there’s part of me that cringes when I hear someone put the word “mom” before anything as an adjective. I regret my decision. Even if there was no history of neglect or abuse in your childhood, factors including personality, mental health issues, communication style, and other causes may make it difficult to like your mother. Jan 4, 2023 · Having a Second Child – The Cons. Dec 8, 2022 · 18 Validating Reasons Why It’s Easy to Hate Being a Mom. ” Like admitting to being depressed or scrimping on groceries, feeling remorseful about the decision to be a stay-at-home mom — and daring to voice that regret Motherhood is hard and it’s true that many moms hate being a mother. RELATED: I Don’t Love Every Moment of Motherhood, But I Love Being Their Mom “Of course I did! How was your day?” I ask, stroking her hair. For as long as I can remember I've always wanted to be a mom. I'm talking about society. A few hours later, I walk up to the school to pick Allie up, and she runs straight into my arms, “Mom! You came!” I squeeze her, backpack and all. Really. But the most common and heart-felt questions center on stay-at-home mom regrets. She becomes emotional hearing people say her mother abused her. Lahl, a mother of three and a former neo-natal nurse, is Oct 9, 2022 · Moms and moms-to-be read my posts and reach out with questions about financial dependency, money imbalances, financial dishonesty, and quitting their careers. “I feel robbed of the opportunity to have made the most of my degree that I worked so hard for,” she explains Jun 26, 2018 · I used to regret being a stay-at-home mom, but motherhood is a choice you make every day, whether you're at an office desk or the kitchen table. I was like, oh, wow, not me, I LOVE being a mom. S. As much as I enjoyed and loved my job as an RN for over 20 years, I do not regret not working in the medical field anymore. She did a lot and I always appreciated it. Becoming a mom, you are forced to be both. I don’t regret my son but I sometimes have moments of regretting becoming a mom. It's messy, demanding, and selfless. Mar 14, 2019 · Whether you are a mom who has on-again-off-again mom-regret, or if you HATE BEING A MOM full stop, there are things you can do to like motherhood more and make the whole thing seem more bearable. I think every working mother goes thru the struggle of feeling conflicted, torn, etc. I like my life just as it is. I think it’s actually gotten worse since the split with my husband. Being a mother “is dealing with the henceforth inevitable”. Sometimes I feel lucky to have such a beautiful baby boy but most of the time I regret it and I hate parenthood. Inna Khazan, Ph. Karla Tenório, an actress, writer, and mother to her 13-year-old daughter, Flor, eagerly dreamed of embracing motherhood. Some of you may dismiss that statement. Why You Might Regret Becoming a Stay at Home Mom. Sharon Greenthal: Here’s the thing I finally have figured out – the regret I would have had if I had NOT stayed home would have been far greater than the regret I’ve experienced by being a stay at home mom. Impact of Social Media on Real Moms Feb 17, 2017 · In fact, if you are a mom, it happens quite regularly: feeling guilt over not being the kind of parent you’d hoped to be, 20/20 hindsight regarding what you could have done differently, and a May 11, 2024 · 1. Dec 2, 2017 · Next autumn, all three of my babies will be in school, all day, every day. Im only 20. Little dependant bundles of love she could cuddle like a doll and couldn't have independent opinions. Many had spouses who lost their jobs and were unable to support the entire family on their 2 year old twins would make me regret being born, never mind having kids. I have an almost 1 year old daughter. My mom loves being a mom but my sister's and I were hellraisers Mar 19, 2022 · 9) Being a Stay at Home Mom is Harder Than Working. I can’t do this it’s not for me. I want to be the encouraging voice that says, “It’s okay to want to do something else. I dont think being a SAHP has to be conflated with losing your personal development or financial/academic goals necessarily. I thought being a mom would be fine, and I would have no regrets. Growing up though, I always wanted to have kids. it’s sooooo much harder than I ever expected and so much more work . FU little Miss Fussypants. Live. Same with pretending it's not difficult. Melissa Auger: Feminism is not about working 50 hours a week, it’s about having a choice to do what you want. Letting go of your grief begins with acceptance of your loss. They fill many different roles and most inevitably feel that they fail to measure up. The sum of all the questionnaire items enables a general Mar 3, 2022 · Questioning motherhood does not equal being a shitty mom or parent. But women are pressured and shamed into having kids. "I'm afraid of losing myself, of the commitment, and the toll it will take on my relationship," she continued. I am a ftm and I regret my decision of becoming a mother every other day. That wasn’t the case for me, though. She's not evil for regretting hers. Sep 4, 2020 · Working moms are chasing the balance of working a job that they want and being the mom that they envisioned. She sees being a mother as a burden. Whether that's true or not is debatable (personally I think she did only because she Dec 21, 2023 · “For me, it was not being able to afford child care anymore. Most letters are written by moms with infants or toddlers, but some have pre-teens and teenagers. The most fun I have is watching a movie while eating snacks. Moms can be very hard on themselves. Sep 16, 2019 · What did Professors Moore and Abetz find? Two major and distinct categories of parental regret emerged: 1) regretting circumstances associated with having children, and 2) regretting having children. Jul 30, 2018 · When something is important to us, it leaves us vulnerable to doubts, worries, and regrets," says says licensed clinical psychologist Dr. And so happy. And F my husband for complaining about having to manage his team. Apr 22, 2024 · Parental regret springs from a range of origins, not all having to do with privation of choice or means. Dec 4, 2023 · To the millennial generation, being a mom looks thankless, exhausting, and lonely. Feb 21, 2019 · Every mom has regrets and times of despair. The difference between you and the "perfect" mom is that you're real. Posted December 29, 2022 | Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster Jun 29, 2020 · 7. Even worse, they’re afraid of recognizing their true feelings of regret. First Time Mom JR. But it was really incompatible with being a new mom, and I left when she was 1. May 7, 2018 · For these women, the heartache of not being a mom is particularly acute on Mother's Day. "I don't regret her, I regret the fact that I never should have been a mother at all," she Apr 25, 2020 · Stay-at-home moms are judged by other moms. But I am told constantly (and especially today) that I will regret not being a mother and look what I am missing. I’m sorry. We tell ourselves and others tell us that being a mom is hard. Only comments from approved members are allowed. So in this case it doesn't work. And in those moments, you might catch yourself thinking, “I hate being a mom. Regret about becoming a stay-at-home mom. My mother and father died 59 days apart from one another when I was 25, and my sister and I were left with a family business and more baggage and logistical details than I could ever capture in one sitting. Aug 4, 2022 · But even though she has little time for herself, she doesn't regret being a mom. Dec 29, 2022 · Loneliness Why the Death of Your Mother Is a Life-Changing Event Shock, relief, loneliness, and gratitude, perhaps all at once. ” —Tina Fey 2. ” —Pamela S. “Being a mom has made me so tired. What you describe is normal regret, and disappointment that things are really incredibly hard. How grateful I am for MassMutual and MassiveSway for sponsoring this discussion on how love is a gift. May 3, 2022 · I regret having a kid and I realized it once I became single and had to do these things on my own. “I missed you. Jan 4, 2018 · For others moms, the sense of regret can reflect underlying issues related to anxiety or depression that can make it hard to get through a typical day, much less a day with the added stress or Apr 14, 2022 · It’s not being selfish, it’s self-preservation. Im guilty, I’m miserable and it’s my fault. I’m not sorry that I find my career fulfilling, because a happy, fulfilled mom is a good mom. Aug 20, 2014 · Some women regret being surrogates after giving birth. I felt that way with both, more so with the second and honestly I still don’t like being a mom. If you are not an approved member of this sub, your comment will be automatically removed (and will not be approved unless you are a parent and your comment adds meaningfully to the discussion). As a single mom, you need a support system. We can’t expect to fully eliminate dread or even regret over having children. I really wish I had an easier baby so I could've gone back to work instead of being chained to a rocking chair. Being a SAHM is a whole new world to me and a wonderful vocation very much like how I felt about nursing when I first started. You need to find your mom group. No, I’m not sorry, but I do worry. Out In The Open · Posted: Jan 20, 2017 4:40 PM EST | Last Updated Feb 29, 2024 · Skeptical about stay-at-home mom regrets? Explore diverse perspectives and unexpected insights in this revealing exploration. Being a step mom made me realize what life with a child really is. I get that they don't do what he tells them, but at least they understand his requests and choose not to listen. It’s a subtle difference, but an important one. It’s important to acknowledge and address the feeling of regretting parenthood. Feb 20, 2016 · Charlotte (44) says she gains no emotional win from her mother role. ” May 7, 2021 · Higher education also correlates with relatively delayed birth. 538. "It's like two sides of the same coin—if being a good parent is important to you, if you love your child, you will end up worrying and regretting the mistakes you've made. I dunnu how moms feels so awesome being mothers and have more than one child. Sep 27, 2018 · Nearly every frustrated parent who has admitted to regretting having children emphasizes their immense sense of guilt, and clarifies that when they say “I hate my kids” or “I hate being a mother” they’re specifically referring to the job of parenting, not the fact of becoming a parent. We were saddened not because any of us could identify with the author, but because she seems to have made decisions that made her unhappy, day after day, year after year, without having the confidence to change a thing about her life. I was raised in a misogynistic religion, so I was cavalier about never having kids, until I slipped up on my birth control and got pregnant (the abortion process scared me too, don't beat yourself up over that). Think about it: our kids are important to us, and being a mother is a huge responsibility. I’ve always said I love being a mom I hate being a parent. Parental regret is very real, and it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. ” “It’s okay if you feel that being a stay at home mom isn’t totally fulfilling for you. Despite loving being a mother, the growing despair I see everyday and knowledge things will only get worse on the next 30 years make me regret having children. I’m such an idiot. It was always assumed I would have children. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling that washed over me when I logged into our joint bank accounts only to find that all the accounts had been closed and credit cards canceled. Also, it makes me sad that she regrets being there with her babies. I swear it. Here are 18 validating reasons why it’s easy to hate being a mom. As a mom, I can totally use this tool to my advantage, and so can you. I'm sure many women have shared her regrets, and many haven't. Some mothers may empathize with these words, but others may not. These emotions do not make you a bad parent, and acknowledging them can help you cope. and I dont know how american moms go back to work after 3 weeks or even 3 months it must be incredibly difficult and such a sacrifice for them. Jan 16, 2024 · I’m still adjusting to being a single mom, but I know I made the right decision. Nov 3, 2017 · They are women like Sky, a mother of two teenage children, who says, “If I could go back today, I’m sure I would not bring children into the world. On the other hand, let’s not forget about the potential drawbacks of having a second child. I like quiet. I’m a shit kid mom. Out In The Open · Posted: Aug 03, 2017 1:00 PM EDT | Last Updated Feb 4, 2022 · She said: "I regret having children and being a mom. Jun 17, 2013 · The book spoke to me and my mother and my grandmother spoke to me, warning me not to tread the path they had taken, leaving the workforce after their children were born. Betty Friedan or not, I stayed home for almost two decades raising three sons. Then I read about waiting with bated breath for nap times or a babysitter and not enjoying playing with a baby, and I was like oh if that means you regret being a parent then I guess that’s me! Nothing is helping me bond. ABC News. I absolutely would not want to have the Nov 17, 2023 · If You Feel Like a Bad Mom, You're Not Alone Moms are often the family manager, caregiver, disciplinarian, nutritionist, cook, homework helper, scheduler, taxi driver, mediator, nurse, and housekeeper. You may think that you're not interested in being a mother, but you are wrong; the desire will strike you eventually, but then it will be too late. You may decide to reach out for support to safeguard your mental health. Applying a feminist lens, it interviews Jewish Israeli women who, as the title indicates, regret becoming mothers and discuss the ramifications of their regrets. I’m angry at my husband for everything. Let Go of Your Grief. I regret it all. I have never wanted to be a mother. Oct 25, 2022 · "I hate being a mom" says the regretful parents and I know I would also hate being a mom. Oct 20, 2019 · All parents do things that make them feel ashamed, things that they wish they hadn’t done. Mindless people ask, “What will you do with all of your time?” I could answer: Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, going for a run, yoga, walking the dog, checking emails, making phone calls, paying bills, meeting friends for coffee, writing, breathing, peeing, pooping, sitting, standing—and all without being I love being a mother. Now I have a 7 yo and 4 yo and I am struggling to find joy in motherhood. Yes, with parenthood comes the lack of sleep, vacation, and official sick days. Shop. This subject can be controversial. I have just returned to work from my 12 wk maternity leave. It's exhausting. Jul 5, 2023 · To regret having kids can feel isolating and challenging, but this is a common experience for many parents. I’m Oct 13, 2022 · Women who express regret are assumed to be unable to love their child or are considered in some way less feminine, she found. I’m a pretty good mom, I love them, they don’t lack anything but I don’t like being a mom. I’m a good baby mom. "I think it'll be harder, but that doesn't mean that I can't handle it," Alexander said. ” Jan 26, 2023 · I love my kids like whoa, but the older I get, the more I realize that I'm not naturally well-suited for being a mom. Abandonment mentioned. It's selfish, but we only get one life, and I want to think about me. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. I hate his guts and he’s complete tras Aug 8, 2023 · 22 Women Share the Real Joys of Being a Mom. Part of that is that being a working mom is extremely demanding inn a way that being a SAHM will never, could never be. I still regret being a mom. She loved being my brother’s mom. I hate him and I hate being a mom. Aug 11, 2016 · It would be far too strong a word to say I have regrets. Lisa Endlich Heffernan’s story presents a fascinating case study into the pressures women and mothers face Sep 21, 2019 · Being an accidental stay-at-home mother was the best career choice I could have ever made. I am 36. It’s ok, you’re not alone. Interest Successfully Added. You need to start taking some time to care for yourself, do things you want to do, have some quiet time, just because you're a mom, that doesn't mean the kids need to be your entire world. Jan 20, 2023 · The Facebook group "I Regret Having Children" is followed by over 48,000 people, "I'm resolved to being the best mom to them that I can be, because it's not their fault that they're here and We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Some are happy as is. A recent Grown and Flown post I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom has garnered some unusual interest and here are some extremely thoughtful rebuttals and endorsements: The Huffington Post piece had over 750 comments and 13,000 shares Jan 18, 2023 · “I regret being a mother…” A 41-year-old mother of three children expressed her conflicting emotions in an NHK feature. So whether that is Aug 3, 2017 · When you regret being a mom - even a little Shielded by online anonymity, more and more women confess they regret having kids. I hated my job as the managing editor of a small press that published books for librarians to help them stay abreast of their profession, and I was jealous of my friends My mother loved having babies. My life’s not over yet. Add to that the societal pressures of motherhood, judgement, being a woman with a kid in a corporate environment, etc. By dealing with parental regret head-on, you can improve your relationships with your children. Idk why I started over when he was 9. Apr 28, 2017 · "Becoming a mother scares me," wrote a Reddit user in the AskWomen subreddit. She advises speaking with a family counsellor if these misgivings persist. Atalya (45) complains, she just can’t understand, what other mothers mean when they are talking about their feelings of luck. Yet, upon stepping into this role, she found herself dealing with a decision that turned out to be one of her greatest regrets. I’m jealous when I see someone I went to school with just be able to drop everything and go on vacation. “Of course not having kids is an option!” and perhaps to you, it was. Once you reach the acceptance stage, permit yourself to let go of your grief. ” “I missed you too, Mama. The point of feminism is the right to make a choice. I’m just waiting it out and hoping it gets better once they’re able to be home alone for a couple hours. I got about two months of work when my kiddo was just under a year, and it was the easiest I had it because I was getting to experience adult things for regular intervals. But they are too afraid, too ashamed or too worried about what people will think to speak that. She also volunteers at the Hope Clinic, which provides free primary medical care to uninsured and under This means it is being actively moderated and all comments are reviewed. hey all, ive read a few posts on here about people who would take back being a stepparent if they could. I am not a home body and never have been very domestic. I was just wondering how common that was here, or if it was a combination of both sometimes, or mostly just the work and the downsides that come with all kids? Becoming a mother can be “exhausting, frustrating and guilt-ridden”, and feelings of regret are common says Sydney psychotherapist Dr Karen Phillip. Women are NOT honest when it comes to being a mom. No I do not regret becoming a stay at home mom I truly love it and as someone that grew up spending a huge chunk of their lives in daycare I’m very thankful I can stay at home. And the truth is that many of my friends have told me emphatically that Heffernan has given voice to how they feel. my pregnancy caused me both mental and physical health issues. I have plenty of time to work at that point and won’t regret soaking up the early years. Being a stay-at-home mom is a journey filled with both joy and challenges that often go unnoticed. I’m 23 now, I never go out. I don’t want to spend my youth trapped inside a house cooking and cleaning while being shat on by this boring bastard. Jul 19, 2012 · After earning multiple degrees, this mom gave it all up to be a stay-at-home mom, and she regrets the decision every day. Im a failure. I regret not being able to travel like I dreamed to. The good news is that PPD is treatable, usually through a combination of therapy and medication. One does not truly know what motherhood is like until you have a child. I 22F had a baby almost a year 1F ago i love her to death and her father 24M is in her life we live with my parents. Although I am fully aware that being a stay at home mom was certainly a luxury, staring at an empty nest and very diminished prospects of employment, I have real remorse. Especially when they are single and have to co parent as opposed to parallel parenting with their ex. I feel so trapped. Burnout can be temporary and Let me get one thing straight. Being a mom is hard, and it’s okay to not always love it. I looooove my kids, I love doing fun stuff with them, teaching them new things, cuddling, our silly chit chats etc. Not seeing my daughter every single day like I had for almost the entirety of her life. Starting over in many ways. It’s also normal to question if you’ve made a mistake. I fully regret being a stay at home parent. But it’s true. All of her parental regret stemmed from not liking the child she got, not the work involved in being a mom. Mar 29, 2017 · Like Adriana Velez said in her blog post on Cafe Mom, “I can't remember the last time I heard a woman admit she regrets being a stay-at-home mom. She's 11 now, people still ask me if I miss it, and my answer is always "there's things about it that I miss, but I wouldn't go back. They feel bad about letting their kids, team, or boss down, and also feel guilt about -I hate being a mom. Message to all the people who tell women they need to be parents: not all of us do. Let’s move on to the cons. I’ve made the decision to be home until they’re both in elementary school. Potential support options may include: Parenting support groups; Online counseling; In-person therapy I was 31 and 33 when I had my kids. Feb 4, 2016 · "Women, especially those over the age of 30, are caught within a mind-game of threats and warnings: Your time is running out for making a family. But putting the kids first sometimes means recognizing your limits and putting some systems in place so they can still have their needs met. It started when my older daughter was 3 years old and my younger was just a newborn. Their mother should be able to provide consistent care & engagement in a safe, comfy environment. I can’t stand my role as father/mother any more), and Emotional distancing (3 items, e. My two cents as a mom somewhat like you (two kids, first at 35, second at 41, over educated) is to not focus on what might have been, but on the present and future. That said being a sahm is not for everyone if you are someone that truly values, enjoys and feels like you thrive with your career then your happiness and mental May 6, 2016 · In March, mother Simone Chubb wrote an article for XO Jane titled, “I Love My Baby, But I Regret Becoming a Mother,” in which she detailed her physically grueling pregnancy and her post-partum Sep 5, 2013 · The recent post, "Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom," was viewed as depressing by many stay-at-home moms in my circle of friends. It can be hard sometimes and i often think of what life could’ve been like if i didn’t have her and maybe just waited. I have complicated mix feelings of being a mom and have no way to handle it. Rather, this is a gentle Dec 10, 2014 · Dear Single Moms: 5 Things You'll Regret In The Future The shame I felt in being another single mom kept me bonded to a relationship that should have ended during the pregnancy. But don’t miss the moment that will change how you feel about being a stay-at-home mother. Some of us just don't have a nurturing personality. Here’s what you need to know about parental regret and how to cope with it. g. Right. They think this way because they’re afraid of going against the norm and being seen as bad people. i’m seeing someone right now that i do truly love but he does have a daughter who is turning 12 this year and is basically entering her teens. Shows. But in recent years, I have started to regret having a child — not because of her, she is the easiest going Hear me out - I know the title sounds harsh. She's the reason I've always wanted to be a SAHM. My lawyer suggested I check my bank accounts to see if our funds were left untouched. I've never felt so unappreciated in my life. Believe it or not, resenting your child from time to time is quite usual. Examples of parenting mistakes that you recognize in real time (while your kid is still a kid) include: yelling at your kids when they really didn’t do much wrong and you were in a bad mood, spanking them or worse physical punishment, realizing you put them in a bad situation because you didn’t Jun 10, 2022 · Through soccer games, preschool, being the PTA secretary and fundraising, and event planning as the room mom, I learned about coordinating, scheduling, and resourcefulness. D. I couldn't see past my nose then. Apr 25, 2023 · Jazz Jennings, star of TLC’s I Am Jazz wants to make something perfectly clear: she has zero regrets about being a woman. But these honest and inspirational stories about being a mom capture Trigger warning: Angry regret, mentions of abortion. I got pregnant at 21. Jul 16, 2022 · The impact on her career is one of the reasons Megan regrets becoming a mother. Brooke Alexander, 19 If being a sahm isn’t for you that’s completely fine and understandable, but no need to belittle the moms who can handle it and choose to be home. First and foremost, let’s discuss the financial and logistical challenges of raising another little one. Aug 31, 2017 · And perhaps most importantly, I’m not sorry that I enjoy something in life in addition to being a mom. I was never certain that I don’t want children before… now I am ! I realize what kind of mom I would be and how much a child can put your whole world upside down. “There is such a special sweetness in being able to participate in creation. A 2012 Pew survey found that while 62 percent of women with a high school diploma had given birth by the age of 25, only 18 percent May 10, 2018 · Why I Don’t Regret Quitting My Job and Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom. There are studies that suggest that staying at home with the kids is harder than working outside – probably for all the reasons outlined above. I love my baby and I don’t regret becoming a mom but I miss having time to go out and meet men and have sex. That's when moms worldwide get floral arrangements, breakfast in bed and other expressions of love from Sep 28, 2016 · Now 46 and the mother of a 22-year-old herself, Carrie reflects on her path with searing clarity. I also have an 18 year old. "I love my 7-year-old daughter. " I feel it wasn't fair to me to have a baby so young. Even if you had the best mom, there were still times when you as a child felt “cut short”, which is just human nature. Basically, society thinks there must be something horribly wrong with the mother who expresses dissatisfaction with parenthood. As someone who had a SAHM and is now a SAHM myself, I'm glad my mom stayed at home with us, and I never thought she did nothing. But the book and my mother spoke to a young ambitious preteen, not a young mother. 1. Subscribe To Newsletters Dec 13, 2023 · When women on Reddit who regret giving birth (whether due to the physical impact of pregnancy or the financial implications of being a working mom) began sharing their experiences, their Apr 16, 2023 · Kowalski also hears more personal questions—women wanting to know if she regrets her choice to be an SMC. It had taken me longer than most to get there, both emotionally and logistically. I love my kiddo. My son's We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. As a mom, I’ve lost my career, thus not being able to provide like I was in my childhood, I’ve lost every friend. I fall more on the motherhood sucks! What was I thinking?! side of the motherhood spectrum. It waxes and wains though. I worry that you’re jealous of the kids whose moms stay home with them. Also rereading the post op wanted to have children. i miss being healthy. It is completely clear to me. I do not blame my baby for all this but my oneself. I see the benefits of having children in your twenties and they are good ones, primarily being younger to enjoy the empty nest years. The cost of 4 days ago · Many parents have these feelings, including moments when they feel sad or overwhelmed, regret being a mom, or hate being a mother sometimes. May 13, 2022 · And that is what I regret. Aug 31, 2021 · He also found that severe financial strain, being a single parent, and a history of rejection or abuse in one’s own childhood could contribute to parental regret. To better understand why we all feel this way at one point or another. they have a super solid relationship and it honestly makes me love him more knowing that he’s fostered such an honest and open dynamic between Jan 19, 2010 · Working moms - Do you regret being a working mom? f. In and before a post-Dobbs U. ” Read More: Starting a Career at 40 After Being a Stay-At-Home Mom: What You Need to Know. Find out how she veered so far from her goals. I LOVE being a mom. I never have a second to myself, he’s exclusively breastfed and refuses all bottles and pacifiers, going through some awful sleep regression / refusing to sleep, I’m alone all day with no car, it’s winter still so walks are limited, I don’t feel like myself anymore, I get Apr 28, 2022 · 1. Whether it’s Their mother is rearing them and I have no interest at all, whatsoever in helping to raise their children. I never got to be a Jan 18, 2012 · The grief over never becoming a mother is one I will never get over, like the grief over losing my own mother 23 years ago. I have ruined my life and now I have a beautiful child who has been stuck with a mom that dreads being a mom. Of course, that truly probably depends on your job and how much you love or hate it, but after being an at home mom, I can attest it’s likely true. This culture tells us that if you enjoy motherhood—you’re not being real. I love her with all my heart, and I am sad this is the future she will have. paoimb pntxg opa dvnfh csdct zsoim vwaagka kicrg eexgz uguz